Ten Commandments to deal with Indian Bureaucracy

Planning is all abt getting d right information,right time. All these years i hve to deal with the huge machinery of Indian Bureaucracy;here is a compilation of my experiences; quick guide fr dose who need it:
1. If u hve a feeling called self respect, leave it outside d door of a govt office. Tht s nt d rite place to nurture it.
2. Practice callin every one, frm sweeper to peon to d top lvl officer, "Sir". I heard sme whr it s a title given by British King, bt here v ppl hve d opportunity to use it as frequently as needed.
3. If u r wrkin sme whr, pls apply for a leave fr 4-5 days(need nt b continuous) to get thngs done.
4. a very nice officer told me he dnt wnt my help (i m doin my thesis on a govt system- unfortunately), since their institution can deal wit there own matters. And remeber, he said dis about managing waste in Indian Railways!!!
5. Dnt thnk tht d only job of dese ppl is to deal wit us, d commons.NO, NEVER!!!!. they may hve meetings (one particular P.A, evn said her boss will b n meeting fr d next one week), nd even dept sponsored cricket matches to attend.
6. This s d most important point- Start creating networks of contacts, as much as possible. Tht is d only thng tht ll help u, witout contacts, u r nt evn worth a dirt under his shoes
7. Practice yoga evry day, never get agitated or irritated by all dese, bcoz dis s d system, and u hve to change urself to deal wit it.
8. There s sme thng called levels n evry govt system, dnt thnk tht one lvl ppl r sympathetic to d higher or lower lvl. Try to understand who s n wch lvl nd b careful whn u mention dis
9. If u r a female, believe dere s sme advantage. Smile always, nd laugh at dere jokes and enquire abt dere family matters(depends on situation)
10. Whn u cme back home, take a bath and sleep, dnt try to remeber hw ws ur day.

Evry Day s gr8!!, beautiful, as ever